Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
