I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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