On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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