Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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