dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Randomize
