im six kinds of drunk right now
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
