Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
