"it" just moved
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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