note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
