You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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