if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I feel like a drive thru vagina
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
