I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
