Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
