they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize