Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
