i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
