Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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