She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
