STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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