bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
