More tranny stories later!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
