Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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