I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
