What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
