You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
