I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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