i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Your penis caused this!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
