ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
