I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
