I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
