The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
