She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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