absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
