She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
