I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
