Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize