And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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