And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize