3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
