Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
