you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
