so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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