I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
