Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
