you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We're too hungover to prance.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize