sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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