I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
