i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
