ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
