Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
