Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
