you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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