Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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