Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
