What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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