bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
