What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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