I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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