It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
