Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
