Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
