I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
