Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
