she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize