you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
even my farts smell like vagina
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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