remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
