The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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