Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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